I only have one thing to say to "New Years Resolutioners" at the gym

WELCOME!

Over the next few weeks you are going to see a lot of crap on Facebook, Twitter, etc, disparaging and lamenting the presence of those who are new to the gym or new to health and fitness. Ignore it. Ignore it all. Instead, accept my congratulations and enthusiasm for your decision to make a real and meaningful change in your life, and realize that this may be the most important and impactful choice you have ever made. It isn't easy, but it is worthwhile.

The reason that more seasoned gym-goers tend to scoff and role their eyes this time of the year, is that the enthusiasm of a fresh start is followed by increased gym traffic (and wait times for equipment) plus the inevitability of beginners using machines improperly, practicing poor form, and most of all, not observing proper gym etiquette (both written and unwritten).

To make your transition a little smoother I have put together a BEGINNER'S TOOLBOX on what to know and where to start:

EQUIPMENT - If the gym is busy (and it will be), limit your time on cardio equipment to 30 minutes and your time on equipment such as the squat rack, bench press, etc to 15 minutes. If someone asks to "work in" with you, it is proper protocol to accept this. This means they will do a set while you rest, and vice-versa. If you are using resistance machines, do not rest on the machine in between sets, get up and allow others to use it while you are not. They are all easy to adjust, and so it is no big deal if you need to make a change while sharing it. Finally, when you are done with all and any equipment, wipe it down and put it away. There is nothing more frustrating than having to cleanup after someone else. I'm not your mother or maid, and neither is the staff or exercisers at the gym.

SIGHTS/SOUNDS/SMELLS - Proper gym attire is really up to the individual, however, a good rule of thumb is: no jeans and denim, wear runners or athletic footwear, and if you know you sweat a lot, either wear clothing that soaks it up or bring a towel. "Sounds" may seem like an odd choice, but this is actually pretty paramount in the gym. Listening to music through headphones is good (though most gyms play music over their speakers). Talking on the phone, talking loudly with your gym-buddy, or using an audible timer on your phone is extremely irritating, and listening to music over the speaker  of your phone is a non-starter. Additionally, think about the noises YOU are making. Audible exhaling is ok; grunting, groaning, yelling, shouting, and dropping weights is amateurish, ridiculous, and unnecessary. Finally, your scent is important. There are few things more distracting and nauseating at the gym than someone with strong body-odour. DO wear deodorant, DON'T lather on a ton of perfume or cologne (this is also distracting and nauseating). A fresh, light scent, or no scent at all is best.

SPATIAL AWARENESS - This might be the most important item of protocol. The gym will be busy, but it is critical that you realize the need for giving others space during their set. I like to keep a "1 metre rule", that is, each exerciser is entitled to a 1 metre bubble in all directions that I do not penetrate. Lifting weight takes focus, and having somebody bump in to you or come close to you mid-set, breaks that concentration and can hurt them and you quite seriously. Also, if at all possible, try not to walk in front of people when they are watching themselves in the mirror during the set. Often they are looking at their form and this will surely break their concentration as well. Wait until they are done their set to return your weights. Along these lines, it is also extremely bad form to do your exercise right in front of the weight-rack, so that other people cannot access weights or put theirs away. Keep a distance of at least 2 metres from the rack when exercising. This will allow others access and will aid in not breaking your own concentration when someone walks in front of you (and they will). Lastly, if you are going to do some floor work (stretching, skipping, abs, etc), don't put your mat down directly next to someone else. They don't want your breathing, sweat, and body heat invading their space. Give them at least 4 or 5 feet. You will find that the more hot and bothered you are, the more you will want your personal space respected. Give others this same consideration.

*BONUS - Don't be afraid to ask for help. Perhaps the greatest reason that "New Years Resolutioners" are looked upon with ire is that they often do not know what they are doing. They are seen to be wasting both their own time and the others around them who need the equipment they are (ab)using. I absolutely recommend purchasing a session or two with a personal trainer and asking them to show you proper form and foundational exercises like squats and deadlifts, or to find a friend who is knowledgeable and consult their wisdom. Believe me, you are better off asking a question you think is "stupid" than doing something incorrectly that looks stupid and can hurt you.

The final reason why new exercisers in January are given the title, "Resolutioners", is because regular gym-goers expect you to come for a month or two, and then stop when the going gets tough or the rest of your life takes over again. My best advice here is to prove those smug-bastards wrong. Get a workout buddy, book personal training sessions, schedule it in your calendar; do whatever you have to do to get to the gym, but just get there. Because in 365 days, you will be glad you did. Your better future starts today.

@BrendanRolfe


Image Credits: http://myhealthandbody.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/7c3f0472ffd796c78a05b2c9080152b02be90137938072cc988deb29246001b5-copy.jpg 

Ventilated training masks: You're being lied to

 

Unless it's Halloween or you're Bane, you're living a lie. Put down the training mask. Not only does it NOT simulate elevation training, you look like a giant douche.

Finally, a September 2015 study done by Sellers, Monaghan, Schnaiter, Jacobson, & Pope, titled, "Efficacy of a Ventilatory Training Mask to Improve Anaerobic and Aerobic Capacity in Reserve Officers' Training Corps Cadets", showed no significant effect between groups on fatigue, anaerobic capacity, peak power, VO2max, or time to exhaustion.

#science

The question is, now that I've presented you with scientific evidence that it doesn't actually help you gain cardio capacity, power, strength, or friendship and admiration at the gym, will you continue to use it?

I bet you will...


@BrendanRolfe

6 ways personal trainers will make more money (that everyone should know!)

Personal training is an attractive industry, especially if you are health-centric. The pay can be great (if you like never being "off the clock", the hours can be flexible (if you like sunrises) and if fitness truly is a lifestyle, you should love what you do (unless it's just a convenient hashtag). There are varying degrees of quality of trainers (from dangerously bad to amazing), and one thing I can say with certainty is that successful trainers all exhibit similar tendencies. Here's what makes them successful:

Stay within your current knowledge base and perfect those exercises.

- Do not experiment on clients and do not give clients exercises that they cannot perform properly and safely. This has two important implications: 1) Your client will not get hurt from an exercise that you've never even performed yourself, have never been educated on, or just made up, 2) You wont look like a bad trainer. If it's an exercise your client is not capable of doing or that they look out of control on, it reflects badly on YOU.

- Create programs with a purpose. A 65 year old doing snatches, a 14 year old doing 3 RM deadlifts, a 30 year old doing overhead squats on a BOSU ball. Why? I'm not saying don't do them, I'm saying stop and think for a second how the program you create jives with your client's abilities, and relate to your client's goals. If a program is truly personalized, you need to take everything in to account and weigh both the benefits and risks. They are trusting you, not only with their health and fitness, but with their safety.

It's ok to say "I don't know"

- It's an opportunity to learn. Tell them you will go look it up in a book, tell them you will take a CEC course on it next month, tell them to consult a professional who does know, but don't make up some bullsh*t and try to sound knowledgeable by using words like functional, dynamic, and metabolic. A blind man could smell your lies. If you don't know, don't say you do. Further, one of the greatest successes a trainer can have is gaining a client's trust. This is not given easily. Most people who have never exercised seriously are terrified of it. They are scared they'll look stupid, they are scared they will be judged, and they are scared they will be laughed at. Once you have gone though the sacred and often lengthy steps of gaining trust, losing it on a lie is ridiculous.

Always be ON

- A coffee in hand, browsing on your cell-phone, chatting off-handedly with other people in the gym, says something about you. It says you don't give a flying f*ck about your client. I don't care if you've been training them for 10 years or 10 minutes and if you've established a buddy-buddy relationship where your client "doesn't mind" if you check your messages (they do, by the way), if I am a potential client, interested in your services, and I see you doing things unrelated to what your client has paid you for, you won't get my money, EVER.

Look like a trainer/Act like a trainer

- Practice what you preach. Fitness comes in different sizes and packages. People want to see that you not only talk the talk, but walk the walk. This doesn't mean you have to have abs and guns out (when the sun's out), this means that, in public anyways, you should exercise with purpose, practice proper nutrition, and generally be the role model that have to be.

- Look like the clients you want to attract. I cannot stress this enough. If you want to attract body builders, BE a body builder (big muscles, tank tops, high tops, etc), if you want to attract athletes, BE an athlete (compression clothing, cross trainers, athletic build, etc.), if you want to attract weight-loss clients, BE a weight loss professional (body-builder or athlete types can be intimidating, and quite honestly, not everyone wants to look that way). Like it or not, YOU are a role-model, and you will attract the clients who want to look like you.

- Dress professionally. The number of trainers that wear sweats and a casual t-shirt or tank top (cut off sleeves, worn and frayed, etc) blows my mind. Dress sharp. Unless you have so many clients that you don't need anymore, or that your reputation precedes you and your rags are your shtick, have a clean, well-fitting top with your logo or an identifying feature on it, and athletic shorts or pants that you might wear for your own workout. If people aren't sure if you are a trainer or a know-it-all workout buddy, they are less likely to approach your for your services.

Don't bad mouth other trainers, exercisers, methods

- Negativity, ANY negativity doesn't belong in the gym. If you criticize other people or methods in the gym, not only do you come across as a judgmental douche, but you bring a storm cloud of pessimism with you. CrossFit is dangerous...everyone knows that, but it has its merits too. When you speak about training styles, exercises, or trainers that you may not believe in, always be sure to present them with a balanced approach. If you see a newbie in the gym and want to approach them to offer assistance (also known as prospecting), lead with a positive, before a correction, for example, "I love that you are including deadlifts in your workout. It is one of the most important lifts to master. May I offer a suggestion...?"

Do not discount your prices

- Value yourself enough not to go on sale. This is one of the most common mistakes for trainers starting out. They want clients, and because they are not confident of their abilities or the service they offer, they drop their prices. But once you drop your rates, it is extremely difficult to raise them without losing those clients. Make no mistake, people are buying YOU. You end up attracting clients who want you because you are cheap, not because your knowledge is valuable. Value yourself, and clients will value you. If you want to attract new business, offer a complimentary session instead. And not a "half session" either where you try to sell them during the last half hour in a "consultation", give them a real taste of you and your style.

Personal training is a cut-throat business. Only the strong survive. If you come with professionalism and enthusiasm, your road to a full roster will be smoother. I always say, look not at the number of clients a trainer has, but at the number of years they have been training their current clients (I don't usually use the term "look not" when I say it, but it sounds more poetic that way). Rather than focusing on your next marketing pitch, focus on your own skills and presentation. They are watching you.

@BrendanRolfe

Image Credits
http://www.triiifitness.com/personal-training-slider.jpg

Fitness ain't what it used to be: Social media madness?

#GymSelfie

Remember the days when the only way people knew you were in to fitness was when you actually got fitter...or showed up places in a Gold's Gym tank top and parachute pants? Gone are the days of the world wondering what your butt looks like after #LegsDay or how much chicken is in a #PlateOfGains. Some say that Instagram and Twitter have taken the intrinsically rewarding soul of fitness, clean and jerked it high overhead, and dropped it to the floor with a deafening thud of look-at-me-ness.

But was a self-pat on the back really that great? Was nothing more than a check mark beside your last set to commemorate a workout well done that satisfying? Do you know what's wrong with 146 likes of an ab shot with your underwear so dangerously low that it's almost pornographic (#FitnessPorn)? Nothing... if posting these pictures or following these posters is what motivates you be the fittest and healthiest version of you that you can be, then there is nothing wrong with it.

What is wrong, is shaming people for it. I believe that any kind of shaming is wrong: fat shaming, fit shaming, race, height, sexual orientation, religious belief, etc. Find inspiration in everything and be inspirational to other people. In a time where our knowledge base, the nutrition, medication, and opportunities that are available to us are at an all-time high, our struggle with health is inconceivably off the charts. Anything that brings health, wellness, and fitness to the forefront of pop-culture is a good thing.

The Biggest Loser has been monumental in bringing the obesity epidemic to mainstream conversation. Yes, the methodology and psychology of the show is questionable, but if nothing else, it is showing John and Jen couch-potatoe how to workout, and that they can workout, and giving good tips on nutrition. The explosion of community-minded brands like Livestrong, Lululemon, and Nike are based on the fitness and health lifestyle. Yes, they are trying to sell you something, but they are also selling you a lifestyle, and if you buy in to that lifestyle, instead of just buying the clothing, your life will be better for it. And social media is a good thing for fitness. Yes, there are some egotistical reasons for posting #ProgressPics. We all want kudos for a job well-done and some of us are less shy about putting ourselves in the public eye to get what we need.

The soul of fitness is stronger than ever. Like anything in life, the industry must evolve or die. The evolution to a more public movement can only be good for future generations. Role models are no longer un-reachable stars on a stage or field, they are people. They are people with twitter accounts who do real things, eat real food, and can be interacted with, simply by hitting "like". The heart of fitness will always be forged in the iron of gyms, but the soul of fitness lies within social media, and it is now available for the whole #fitfam to enjoy.

@BrendanRolfe

4 most common mistakes beginners make at the gym

http://buffblogger.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/5.jpg

We all have to start somewhere.

We have all been beginners at something and felt lost. But in this day and age, where everyone carries a cellphone with a camera, and is waiting to pounce on the latest and greatest "fail", mistakes or lack of knowledge rarely go undocumented in the gym. Some mistakes will get you on someone's fail compilation, while other's will just inhibit your ability to get the results you want. To follow are 4 of the most common traps that beginners and even more experienced exercisers fall in to that will stunt your growth and limit your results.

Isolation exercises
Beginners often take their programs from magazines, ads, and media content. There are 2 major problems with this: 1) Most workouts in magazines are from interviews with body builders, not real people with jobs, kids and responsibilities 2) The media doesn't know squat about real fitness. Chances are, they are trying to sell you something. Remember, sex sells. A fitness model in booty shorts doing a single leg glute extension is sexy, and it sells magazines, supplements, clothes, etc, but if your goal is to lose 20 pounds, the only thing this exercise is making an ass out of, is you. Don't waste your time on isolation exercises. Because they don't involve compound movements (ie. activate multiple muscles) they don't burn many calories and don't give you much value for your time. For instance, instead of doing a bicep curl, do a reverse pushup; not only are you working our your biceps, but you are getting back, shoulder, and core engagement, to boot.

Following fads rather than mastering the basics
Functional movements are good, but beginners on the fail list seem to have mastered a new category of fitness: Dysfunctional Movements. Not every exercise needs a twist, a roll, or 12 pieces of equipment. Before you do anything else at the gym, master these movement patterns: squat, deadlift, lunge, chest press, row, shoulder press. All other movement patterns stem from these foundational lifts. Once you master these, then you can add a standing back tuck. There is a reason that there are "classic" lifts, it is because they have withstood the test of time and are shown to bring results. Period.

Mixing up workouts too much (routine is not overrated)
I get it. You don't want to be bored at the gym. You want new and exciting exercises that will stimulate your muscles and challenge your brain. But if you don't repeat some of the same exercises, you are missing the basic foundation of resistance training, progressive overload. Progressive overload is the act of gradually increasing the amount of weight you lift in your exercises to continually challenge your body to become stronger. If you do an exercise twice a month, you are not allowing your body the repetitions it needs to adapt and overcome. In addition, it is rare that a newbie comes in to the gym and has perfect form in all exercises (like rainbow unicorn rare), if you don't repeat exercises (essentially practicing them), you will struggle with making the minor adjustments to form that produces optimal results.

Lifting with your eyes instead of your muscles
Picking up a lot of weight off the floor is sweet, I agree. Having your lumbar spine rip out of your lower back as you deadlift is less sweet. Perhaps the biggest epidemic among young male lifters is lifting eye heavy, rather than muscle heavy. Too many times have I seen exercisers squirm and twist and bend under weight that is simply too much for them. I always say form and function over fashion. Lifting heavy weight LOOKS cool, but if you have to cheat to lift it, chances are it isn't doing what you think it is for your fitness. A perfectly formed squat through a maximal range of motion at 100lbs is infinitely better than a sketchy half squat at 200lbs any day of the week.

The gym is not a place I take satisfaction in seeing people fail. In fact, as a personal trainer, there are few things more painful and gut-wrenching than seeing an exerciser doing something that is un-beneficial and even dangerous. If you are new to the gym or wonder whether you are doing exercises properly, I recommend enlisting the help of a trainer for 2 or 3 sessions. This can save you a world of grief, will get you faster results, and will keep you off of the 2015 Youtube Gym Fail Compilation.

@BrendanRolfe 

5 exercises no real athlete will touch

When I go to the gym, I can instantly separate athletes from exercisers, both in the quality of their movement, and by the exercises they choose to fill their programs with. Here are 5 exercises you won't catch any real athlete doing at the gym.

[1]

Seated Hamstring Curls - There are only 2 occasions that call for leg isolation exercises: 1) Recovering from an injury 2) Body building...and when was the last time you saw a body builder do something athletic?


[2]

INSTEAD
try Deadlifts




[3]

Pulldowns - Studies have shown that doing pull ups will increase the amount of weight you can use while performing a pulldown, conversely, increased pulldown capacity has not been shown to do the same for pullups. 'Nuff said.

[4]

INSTEAD try Eccentric Pullups

[5]

Tricep Kickbacks - The body positioning required by kickbacks cuts off potential range of motion and opens up more opportunities to cheat. 


[6]


INSTEAD try a Sphynx Pushup

[7]

Concentration Curls - Single arm isolation exercises are great...if you have 4 hours per day to spend at the gym. Not only do you get secondary bicep activation when you do real exercises like pullups and rows, but there are about a million more effective bicep exercises that don't make you look like a tool.



[8]

 INSTEAD try a Zottman Curl



[9]








Machine back extensions - I have tried this one at different stages of my fitness journey, and every time it feels awkward, uncomfortable and unnatural. That is because your lower back is not built to move independently of the rest of your posterior chain. Because it is easy to grip tight and cheat, people load up the weight on this exercise and risk injury for very little benefit.




[10]

 INSTEAD try Scorpion Extensions



@BrendanRolfe

Image Credits
[1]http://buffblogger.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/VR1-Seated-Leg-Curl_13060.jpg
[2]http://www.menshealth.com/mhlists/cms/uploads/1/barbell-deadlift_1.jpg
[3]http://www.carrienyden.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/lat-pulldown-start.jpg
[4]http://nicktumminello.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/pullup_negative.jpeg
[5]http://www.bodybuilding.com/exercises/exerciseImages/sequences/348/Female/m/348_2.jpg
[6]https://loseyoself.files.wordpress.com/2015/01/sphinx-pushup-garcia.jpg
[7]http://www.bodybuilding.com/exercises/exerciseImages/sequences/136/Male/l/136_1.jpg
[8]http://munfitnessblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/Zottman-Curl-Workout-Woman.jpg
[9]http://www.fitsociety.nl/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/back-extension1.jpg
[10]http://m.ufc.com/news/mma-power-training-cub-swanson

 

2015 Gym Review

Does Your Gym Measure Up?

At some point in every fitness freak's gym career, they will look back and say to themselves "Damn, I've spent a lot of time in the gym." In my case, not only have I spent a lot of time in the gym (like A LOT a lot), I have been pretty unbiased in my allegiances (you might say I get around). Here is my professional opinion about some of the joints I've dropped a weight or two at:

Trevor Linden Fitness (Club16)/She's Fit

membership cost: $15-$25/mo.

facilities: Clean, well maintained, new equipment. Like most gyms, too many treadmills, not enough squat racks. Bathrooms are clean, gym is bright and open, though there are issues with locker break-ins, oddly enough. There is a women's-only side (She's Fit) if you require a little more privacy. Unlimited tanning is available for an extra $5 per month. They do not offer classes, per se, but do offer a lunch hour circuit training program.

clientele: You get a real mixed bag, but the majority of exercisers fall in to the "college student" category. Low price-points and fairly central locations make it accessible to all. At times there is a frustrating mix of newbies with no sense of gym etiquette, hard-cores with no sense of consideration, and social butterflies with no sense of purpose.

staff: Staff are young, friendly, and helpful. There are no "in-house" personal trainers there, but the staff seems knowledgable at a basic level and are a good resource for beginners.

value rating: 7/10 - Good staff, clean facilities, low fees

YMCA/YWCA

membership cost: $40-$60/mo.

facilities: Depending on the age of the facility, the equipment is reasonably new and well maintained. You will notice extra wear and tear from the volume of use, but on whole, it is reasonably clean accessible. They tend to pack A LOT of equipment in to a little space, but have a good variety. You are going to wish there was more space. Bathrooms are clean and large and there is a pool, which is a nice feature. They also have a gymnasium where they run various sports, health, and other programs. This is included in your membership.

clientele: A decidedly youthful and international flavour. Frequent sprinklings of the super fit senior and many cardio warriors. This is actually a gym that could stand to gain more cardio equipment, though there is no where to put it because they are maxing out their space as it is. This space gets INSANELY busy at peak hours, to the point where I have walked 20 minutes to get there and just said "F-it" and left without a workout.

staff: The instructors are good, but in general I find the staff at the YMCA and YWCA to be somewhat disinterested and apathetic. They seem very hands off and unwilling to go out of their way to be helpful. There are personal trainers offered at the YMCA and YWCA. In fairness, I have not had a session with any of them, so cannot speak to their abilities. When reviewing their qualifications, I find them to often be new to the industry. This can be a plus however, as you will get an enthusiastic trainer with good intentions.

value rating: 6/10 - Good facilities & activities, but cramped quarters and disinterested staff

Steve Nash Sports Club

membership cost: $70-$110/mo.

facilities: Extremely large facilities with plenty of space. Equipment is clean and new, though often "under repair." There is a pool offered at one location an outrageous amount of cardio equipment offered at all. Their equipment includes many of the industry's newest and trendiest. They offer classes (included) in spinning, yoga, dance, group training, etc, though oddly enough, none of the "Sports Clubs" include any facilities to do sports. The gym space is usually very clean, but the locker rooms and surprisingly unkempt. Used towels overrun the floors and the wait for showers can be aggravating.

clientele: Here is where you lose me. These gyms attract young, single professionals. Lululemon is strongly encouraged (required?) and sleeves need not apply. If you are single and looking to pick up, you are going to love this gym. It does get busy around peak hours, but it is not lacking space, so if you can be creative with your workouts, you'll never be sitting, waiting, and cursing someone under your breath for being on the equipment you need.

staff: The staff is knowledgeable and engaging. They go out of their way to be helpful and are very approachable. You will be hard-pressed to find a better group of personal trainers and class instructors than you get at Steve Nash Sports Clubs. They are knowledgable, experienced, and usually extremely well-certified. Continued training and skills and knowledge improvement are strongly encouraged.

value rating: 7/10 - Facilities & staff that are 2nd to none, but it's pricey & a little douchey

Steve Nash Fitness World

membership cost: $20-$35/mo.

facilities: While most of the facilities have been given a facelift since the merge between Steve Nash and Fitness World, I still find them to be worn, dated, and cramped. The locker rooms and showers often have serious cleanliness issues and could use more care and attention. The machines are maintained, though dated and uninspiring; the same goes for the cardio equipment. Classes are offered as part of the membership cost, though popular classes can be cramped, given small spaces.

clientele: I don't know why, but these gym seem to attract the middle aged, fitness crowd. I think it may be to do with the fact that original memberships are grandfathered in (I know a gentleman who pays $7/mo because he was one of the original members), and they refuse to give up such a great deal. You will find a good portion of the membership occupying the cardio section, which is good, because there is not a lot by way of free-weights. These gyms are everywhere though, and there is likely one right around the corner from your house. So they are convenient.

staff: The front desk staff is always friendly and helpful. The personal training staff is definitely a mix of new trainers and, shall we see, seasoned trainers (from the old-school). While I have seen some quality training sessions be administered, I have also had to bear witness to cringe-worthy sessions that have me questioning the legitimacy of the industry.

value rating: 5/10 - The price is right, but everything else will test your commitment

GoodLife Fitness

membership cost: $35-$55/mo.

facilities: GoodLife fitness is known for having large facilities. They are spacious, though maybe slightly dated. The machines and equipment are well maintained and the atmosphere is un-intimidating and focus-oriented. There is a good variety of equipment for beginners and experienced exercisers alike and many of the gyms have a women-only area. Facilities are clean and well-maintained. Group classes are available and included in membership.

clientele: Attracts the young to middle aged crowd who wants to come in, do their work, and get out, back to real life. Peak hours are busy, but a good amount of space allows for uninhibited workouts so you do not feel squeezed.

staff: Call them. They will answer with "It's a great day at GoodLife", and this really does set the tone. Customer service and friendliness is a clear mandate. Personal trainers are knowledgeable and well trained, and on average, probably provide the 2nd best training services in the box-gym industry. Instructors are all Les Mills certified and friendly and knowledgeable.

value rating: 8/10 - Facilities & staff are welcoming, lots of space, somewhat dated

Gold's Gym

membership cost: $30-$80/mo.

facilities: Gold's Gym is, by reputation, a body builder's gym, and so they offer an ARMY of machines, and also offer plenty of free weights. The spaces are usually large and clean, and if you are ok with the colour yellow, they are sufficient for whatever you need to do. Gold's Gyms are also strictly franchised, so different gyms offer different additions (for example, some gym offer a multitude of heavy bags and mixed martial arts training equipment). This also accounts for the large discrepancy in monthly fees.

clientele: Usually, Gold's Gyms attract the body-builder, string tank top, big sweats, Timberland wearing types...or the wannabe's thereof (basically, the Planet Fitness commercial stereotype). However, this type of atmosphere is IDEAL if you are serious about your lifting and want to push yourself. You do not generally find newbies at Gold's Gyms because of this reputation and therefore only have to put up with inconsiderate weight dropping and grunting, though at least nobody will walk into the end of your bar while you're deadlifting.

staff: The staff often reflects the clientele (physically anyways). But I have to laugh, because every time I do go in to a Gold's I expect Muscle-Mania or Bronzed-Barbie who's at reception to be a jerk, but they are always super nice and helpful (just goes to show you, don't judge a book by its cover). Some gyms allow outside trainers to rent the space, some provide in-house training. Many trainers seem to focus on body-building (when in Rome) and seem to know what they are doing in that faculty. Gold's offers classes as well, though I have never taken one there.

value rating: 9/10 - Great facilities, good staff, not as many facilities available

So there are my ratings. Did I reflect your gym's score accurately? Are there other gyms that you would like to add to the last? What are your ratings?

@BrendanRolfe

5 Ways to BRO your workout

You just bought your brand new Lulus or your ultra low cut tank top and can't wait to show it off to the babes who always check you out at the gym. Sure, you never catch them actually looking at you, but you know they do. Here's how to be seen getting your workout on, without the risk of messing up your hair.

1) HANG ON BRO - There's at least one babe on the treadmill at all times. No matter how many open machines there are at the end of the gym, be sure to pick the one right beside her. Crank the incline up as high as it will go (that's right -- it's SHOWTIME baby!) and set it to a walking pace (don't run...you'll burn too much muscle). The speed doesn't matter anyways, as everyone will only be looking on in awe at the incline you have set. Be sure to hold on to the handles with a kung-fu grip and lean back so the front of your legs don't get that uncomfortable burning feeling. When the babe gets off, you are done too...obviously.

2) MORE IS MORE BRO - On to weights. If there is a babe in weights section, go on the bench right beside her. If not, choose a bench beside the least fit person in the section (they'll make you look even better, if that's possible). It's chest and biceps day today (back and triceps were yesterday and legs are... never) you are going to need a lot of weights. If you usually use 30's, you'd better get 35's and 40's too (just in case you are feeling your protein today, bro), also, get the 25's and 20's in case you feel like getting your swell on with a drop-set. FYI, legs are a waste of time, but maybe you could do some calf-raises though, or not...whatever. That time could have been spent doing biceps (curls for girls).

3) NOT TOO DEEP BRO - First, find a runt who is doing light weights and make eye contact. When they look at you, quickly glance down at their weights and give them a smirk that says 'your workout is my warmup'...because it is. Walk down to the end of the weight rack, glancing (staring) at the babe who's finishing her 14th set of hip lifts and drop the heaviest weights in the gym from the rack to the floor. Make sure to roll them back to your bench, everyone will stop their sets and move to let the big dog through (you don't want to waste energy carrying them). You don't even have to look at the babe on your way back, there's no question she was checking you out this time, after all, you've got the biggest weights in the gym, and chicks dig the alpha male. When you get back to your bench, take a break and grab a gulp from your milk jug full of aminos. The whole gym will be watching you this set, so you have to bring your "A" game. After you get the weight above you, only lower them 2 to 3 inches before hulking them back up like a hero. Also, if you are doing an exercise like deadlifts, bounce the weights off the ground to get a rebound effect. It doesn't matter how the weights get up, as long as they get there.

4) EVERYONE SHOULD KNOW IT WAS HARD BRO - When you lean back and kick the weights up above you, be sure to grunt, yell "up!", "light weight!", or some facsimile thereof. While most people are already watching you, it is possible that someone is getting water or something and they should know the show is about to begin. Stick to 5 reps or less (everyone knows that doing more than that will make you weak and will burn more calories than you can afford to give). At this point, you can either count your reps out loud or grunt. I like to do both at the same time, and then around rep 4 or 5, I recommend dropping a masculine F-bomb. After the fifth rep, just drop them. Don't waste energy and risk possible injury lowering them slowly. Everyone should respect your weights and clear out while you are doing your set, so don't hesitate to toss them aside. Also, when you are done your set, don't put your weights away, that's what the staff is for. More than that, the next person who uses your bench should know that you max out the weights here and that this gym can't contain you. A special note: if you are doing deadlifts to work out your lower back (some wannabe trainer tried to tell me it's a leg exercise, get real), make sure you bounce the weights off the floor in between reps. It's easier, so you can lift more weight, but more importantly, it makes a loud crashing noise so everybody will be intimidated and/or turned on.

5) REST BRO - You always see these monkeys running around the gym doing multiple exercises in a row (I think it's something Mr. Crossfit invented). What a waste of energy. Instead, do your set, grab a swig from your 4-litre, then take a well deserved break, sitting on the machine you just used (you don't want anyone else to steal it). Go on your phone to update your status ("If the bar ain't bendin', you're just pretendin'"), check out the latest Lulu bums or 6-pack hard bodies on Instagram, take a selfie (#strongisthenewskinny) or go flex in the mirror (bro, my six pack is comin' in real good, and my triceps are bangin'!). After two more gulps of aminos and about 5 minutes has rolled by, it's time for another set. If the babe in the abs section just took off her headphones to stretch though, take this time to go over and ask her if she's training for a fitness show or say you recognize her from somewhere (they eat that stuff up). *Make sure you are flexing the whole time, but change poses frequently so she gets the full effect.

6) STRETCHING...WTF BRO? - If you have a "Y" chromosome, the only time you need to go in the stretching section is if there's a babe in there and you want to lay your mac down. Otherwise, stretching is for yoga loving vegans and those guys who wear toe shoes. So this is for the ladies: First and foremost, if you can do the splits, do them. Do them forwards, do them backwards, sideways, and upside down. Every man, woman, and child should know that you are the most flexible person in the gym. Really, the only important muscles are on the back of your legs (glutes, hamstrings and inner thighs), so just stretch those. Your upper body doesn't need to stretched because the only thing you work on in the gym is legs, in addition to the 6 hours you put in on the stair-stepper.

Really, this fitness thing is pretty simple. Go to the gym, stand by some weights, flex lots, go party on the weekends. Because you workout, you can eat and drink whatever you want, it's all just going to turn in to chest and bicep muscles on monday anyways bro.