Stupid fans ruin sports

Throwing garbage on the field, endless selfies, talking on your cell phone, kicking the back of a chair, wearing a different sport jersey...give your head a shake.

Sporting events can bring intensity, emotion, and entertainment like no other spectacle. It can make you laugh, cry, jeer or cheer...hell, it can even gave you a grade one jammer and send you to the ICU. For the price of a ticket, you can be guided through an emotional rollercoaster that would otherwise have your treating physician put you on meds or send you to Riverside for psychiatric review. But for the love of all that is Holy and happenstance, don't conduct yourself at a game with people already questioning your sanity...or their own.

Projectile Anger
If your response to something happening on the field of play is every to throw an object in the direction of the players (unless it is a hat or an octopus), don't bother showing up. Not only can you hurt someone on the field or in the crowd if your pathetic noodle-arm can't throw a bottle that far (and go to jail for it), but the result could actually be forfeiture of the match by your team. As an embarrassing member of the home crowd, your team is ultimately responsible for your conduct, and if the environment is deemed dangerous as a result of your action, by the officiating crew, they can give an automatic win to the visitors. Don't be an idiot, if you're really that upset, crush a beer can on your forehead and call it a night. Or if you find you can't handle the emotions associated with disappointment, it's probably best if you stay home to watch it on TV, where you can punch corresponding holes in the drywall.

Selfie-thon
There's no quicker way to look like a space cadet then to take multiple selfies at a sporting event. A quick snap to mark the occasion and create jealously on social media is one thing; taking 5 or 6 selfies in a row, while trying to harness the magic of the smoky-eyes/duck face combo, tells me and everyone tuning in that a) You likely aren't a real fan b) You'll probably win the 50/50 draw. Since you're really only there for the booze and to be seen to be social anyways, why not save your pocket book and head to your local sports bar instead? It'll give you another hashtag or ten to add to your Instagram post(s).

Talking on your cell phone
A short call each half to check on your kid or to review your meeting schedule tomorrow is harmless. Blathering on about business, your exploits the Roxy the night before, or the shopping trip to the States you are going on this weekend, on your cell, phone during game play, is so far beyond irritating that it belongs up there with the guy who exhales loudly through his nose when he's eating. You're at a sporting event...talk about sports! I'm not saying you have to have been a fan for years or even that you must know everything about the sport and the game, but at least pretend to be interested! Any real sports fan can tell you that part of the fun of "having a team" is allowing yourself to be part of the team and allowing your emotions to become invested in them. How am I supposed to live and die with my team if you're talking to your business partner about how you're you going to buy low and sell high for 15 minutes of the second period and 4 minutes of the 3rd?!? Go in to the concourse if you need to have an important phone discussion during game play or make the call in between quarters. Or, by all means, call from your home office.

Kicking the back of the chair in front of you
Does this really need to be said? At 6'4, I have long legs and big feet, but somehow I manage not to tap the back of your chair with my toes, kick it when I'm moving around, or rest my feet on the side of your armrest. There are few things more egregious then chair kicking at a sporting match (or concert, for that matter). Every time you kick the back of my chair, I image myself head-butting you in the chest (a little reference for the real soccer fans out there ;) ), and while I have had remarkable self-restraint up until this point in my life, there's no telling how I or someone else my size will react, going forward. You know where there is lots of leg room AND great seats though? Your house...

Wearing an inappropriate jersey
No, I'm not talking about rocking number 69 or buying a Rusty Kuntz jersey. I'm all for supporting your team, but when you show up to a Toronto Blue Jays playoff baseball game wearing an Edmonton Oilers hockey jersey, I question everything, ranging from your knowledge of sports to your commitment to hygiene. Not only are you NOT wearing a jersey from either of the participating teams, but you're not even representing the right sport. Why are you here? Granted, I have seen some football jerseys at hockey games in the United States (the confusion is real), but Canadians are by far the worst offenders when it comes to this phenomenon. It doesn't seem to matter what the sport, but we feel compelled to reinforce the Canada = hockey stereotype at almost every other sporting event. Football, baseball, basketball, soccer...just stop it. If you don't have any attire that matches the sport you will be watching (at the very least), it's OK to just wear jeans and a t-shirt. Or, if you can't find anything else in your closet aside from a hockey jersey, when you're going to watch a baseball game, feel free to stay in the closet.

DO
Cheer your team on! As someone who has played in front of thousands of fans, I can tell you that crowd support and crowd noise does make a difference. It gives you that little bit extra that can be the decisive factor between winning and losing. Do trade comments with opposing fans. But keep it light; don't get offended about the things they say about your team. Witty banter is part of the fun of enjoying a sporting event and can make it that much more enjoyable. Don't be afraid to say good game to the other fans after the game, win or lose (nobody likes a sore loser, but even less a sore winner). We all have to start somewhere in our fandom, but avoiding some of these head-scratchers will help you enjoy the game more and incur my wrath less.

@BrendanRolfe


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2015 Gym Review

Does Your Gym Measure Up?

At some point in every fitness freak's gym career, they will look back and say to themselves "Damn, I've spent a lot of time in the gym." In my case, not only have I spent a lot of time in the gym (like A LOT a lot), I have been pretty unbiased in my allegiances (you might say I get around). Here is my professional opinion about some of the joints I've dropped a weight or two at:

Trevor Linden Fitness (Club16)/She's Fit

membership cost: $15-$25/mo.

facilities: Clean, well maintained, new equipment. Like most gyms, too many treadmills, not enough squat racks. Bathrooms are clean, gym is bright and open, though there are issues with locker break-ins, oddly enough. There is a women's-only side (She's Fit) if you require a little more privacy. Unlimited tanning is available for an extra $5 per month. They do not offer classes, per se, but do offer a lunch hour circuit training program.

clientele: You get a real mixed bag, but the majority of exercisers fall in to the "college student" category. Low price-points and fairly central locations make it accessible to all. At times there is a frustrating mix of newbies with no sense of gym etiquette, hard-cores with no sense of consideration, and social butterflies with no sense of purpose.

staff: Staff are young, friendly, and helpful. There are no "in-house" personal trainers there, but the staff seems knowledgable at a basic level and are a good resource for beginners.

value rating: 7/10 - Good staff, clean facilities, low fees

YMCA/YWCA

membership cost: $40-$60/mo.

facilities: Depending on the age of the facility, the equipment is reasonably new and well maintained. You will notice extra wear and tear from the volume of use, but on whole, it is reasonably clean accessible. They tend to pack A LOT of equipment in to a little space, but have a good variety. You are going to wish there was more space. Bathrooms are clean and large and there is a pool, which is a nice feature. They also have a gymnasium where they run various sports, health, and other programs. This is included in your membership.

clientele: A decidedly youthful and international flavour. Frequent sprinklings of the super fit senior and many cardio warriors. This is actually a gym that could stand to gain more cardio equipment, though there is no where to put it because they are maxing out their space as it is. This space gets INSANELY busy at peak hours, to the point where I have walked 20 minutes to get there and just said "F-it" and left without a workout.

staff: The instructors are good, but in general I find the staff at the YMCA and YWCA to be somewhat disinterested and apathetic. They seem very hands off and unwilling to go out of their way to be helpful. There are personal trainers offered at the YMCA and YWCA. In fairness, I have not had a session with any of them, so cannot speak to their abilities. When reviewing their qualifications, I find them to often be new to the industry. This can be a plus however, as you will get an enthusiastic trainer with good intentions.

value rating: 6/10 - Good facilities & activities, but cramped quarters and disinterested staff

Steve Nash Sports Club

membership cost: $70-$110/mo.

facilities: Extremely large facilities with plenty of space. Equipment is clean and new, though often "under repair." There is a pool offered at one location an outrageous amount of cardio equipment offered at all. Their equipment includes many of the industry's newest and trendiest. They offer classes (included) in spinning, yoga, dance, group training, etc, though oddly enough, none of the "Sports Clubs" include any facilities to do sports. The gym space is usually very clean, but the locker rooms and surprisingly unkempt. Used towels overrun the floors and the wait for showers can be aggravating.

clientele: Here is where you lose me. These gyms attract young, single professionals. Lululemon is strongly encouraged (required?) and sleeves need not apply. If you are single and looking to pick up, you are going to love this gym. It does get busy around peak hours, but it is not lacking space, so if you can be creative with your workouts, you'll never be sitting, waiting, and cursing someone under your breath for being on the equipment you need.

staff: The staff is knowledgeable and engaging. They go out of their way to be helpful and are very approachable. You will be hard-pressed to find a better group of personal trainers and class instructors than you get at Steve Nash Sports Clubs. They are knowledgable, experienced, and usually extremely well-certified. Continued training and skills and knowledge improvement are strongly encouraged.

value rating: 7/10 - Facilities & staff that are 2nd to none, but it's pricey & a little douchey

Steve Nash Fitness World

membership cost: $20-$35/mo.

facilities: While most of the facilities have been given a facelift since the merge between Steve Nash and Fitness World, I still find them to be worn, dated, and cramped. The locker rooms and showers often have serious cleanliness issues and could use more care and attention. The machines are maintained, though dated and uninspiring; the same goes for the cardio equipment. Classes are offered as part of the membership cost, though popular classes can be cramped, given small spaces.

clientele: I don't know why, but these gym seem to attract the middle aged, fitness crowd. I think it may be to do with the fact that original memberships are grandfathered in (I know a gentleman who pays $7/mo because he was one of the original members), and they refuse to give up such a great deal. You will find a good portion of the membership occupying the cardio section, which is good, because there is not a lot by way of free-weights. These gyms are everywhere though, and there is likely one right around the corner from your house. So they are convenient.

staff: The front desk staff is always friendly and helpful. The personal training staff is definitely a mix of new trainers and, shall we see, seasoned trainers (from the old-school). While I have seen some quality training sessions be administered, I have also had to bear witness to cringe-worthy sessions that have me questioning the legitimacy of the industry.

value rating: 5/10 - The price is right, but everything else will test your commitment

GoodLife Fitness

membership cost: $35-$55/mo.

facilities: GoodLife fitness is known for having large facilities. They are spacious, though maybe slightly dated. The machines and equipment are well maintained and the atmosphere is un-intimidating and focus-oriented. There is a good variety of equipment for beginners and experienced exercisers alike and many of the gyms have a women-only area. Facilities are clean and well-maintained. Group classes are available and included in membership.

clientele: Attracts the young to middle aged crowd who wants to come in, do their work, and get out, back to real life. Peak hours are busy, but a good amount of space allows for uninhibited workouts so you do not feel squeezed.

staff: Call them. They will answer with "It's a great day at GoodLife", and this really does set the tone. Customer service and friendliness is a clear mandate. Personal trainers are knowledgeable and well trained, and on average, probably provide the 2nd best training services in the box-gym industry. Instructors are all Les Mills certified and friendly and knowledgeable.

value rating: 8/10 - Facilities & staff are welcoming, lots of space, somewhat dated

Gold's Gym

membership cost: $30-$80/mo.

facilities: Gold's Gym is, by reputation, a body builder's gym, and so they offer an ARMY of machines, and also offer plenty of free weights. The spaces are usually large and clean, and if you are ok with the colour yellow, they are sufficient for whatever you need to do. Gold's Gyms are also strictly franchised, so different gyms offer different additions (for example, some gym offer a multitude of heavy bags and mixed martial arts training equipment). This also accounts for the large discrepancy in monthly fees.

clientele: Usually, Gold's Gyms attract the body-builder, string tank top, big sweats, Timberland wearing types...or the wannabe's thereof (basically, the Planet Fitness commercial stereotype). However, this type of atmosphere is IDEAL if you are serious about your lifting and want to push yourself. You do not generally find newbies at Gold's Gyms because of this reputation and therefore only have to put up with inconsiderate weight dropping and grunting, though at least nobody will walk into the end of your bar while you're deadlifting.

staff: The staff often reflects the clientele (physically anyways). But I have to laugh, because every time I do go in to a Gold's I expect Muscle-Mania or Bronzed-Barbie who's at reception to be a jerk, but they are always super nice and helpful (just goes to show you, don't judge a book by its cover). Some gyms allow outside trainers to rent the space, some provide in-house training. Many trainers seem to focus on body-building (when in Rome) and seem to know what they are doing in that faculty. Gold's offers classes as well, though I have never taken one there.

value rating: 9/10 - Great facilities, good staff, not as many facilities available

So there are my ratings. Did I reflect your gym's score accurately? Are there other gyms that you would like to add to the last? What are your ratings?

@BrendanRolfe