- you wipe your hands on a paper towel instead of using the blow dryer
- you take the escalator instead of the stairs
- you jingle the change in the pockets of your jeans when waiting
- you jingle the change in your pockets when not waiting
- you actually have change in your pockets (who carries cash anymore...honestly?)
- you use the word "The" and add an "s" when referencing gay people
- you think global warming is a theory
- you put salt on EVERYTHING
- you walked up hill to school both ways, & always in a snow storm (what else are you lying about?)
- you own your home, mortgage-free
- you own your own car, lease-free
- you like your Coca-Cola, sugar-free (because you believe in the word 'diet')
- you believe "Negro" is a politically correct term for referencing an African American (it's not)
- you think that walking is exercise
- you think everyone without grey hair is lazy and entitled
- Get a job you bum! (wait...what?)
- you ski in jeans (yeahhhhh you do)
- you believe lead paint "puts hair on your chest"
- you believe asbestos "puts hair on your chest"
- you use the term, "puts hair on your chest"
- you update your facebook status with your daily routine (you fed your cat HOW much?!?)
- twitter is scary
- Instagram is scarier
- retiring from your job is scariest (clearly)
- "dancing", to you, means pointing your fingers and twisting your hips
- you're annoyed that you had to enhance the font when reading this one (un-pinch your fingers)
@BrendanRolfe
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