Friday, January 29, 2016

You're probably a Baby Boomer if...

 
- you wipe your hands on a paper towel instead of using the blow dryer

- you take the escalator instead of the stairs

- you jingle the change in the pockets of your jeans when waiting

- you jingle the change in your pockets when not waiting

- you actually have change in your pockets (who carries cash anymore...honestly?)

- you use the word "The" and add an "s" when referencing gay people

- you think global warming is a theory
 
- you put salt on EVERYTHING

- you walked up hill to school both ways, & always in a snow storm (what else are you lying about?)

- you own your home, mortgage-free

- you own your own car, lease-free

- you like your Coca-Cola, sugar-free (because you believe in the word 'diet')
 
- you believe "Negro" is a politically correct term for referencing an African American (it's not)

- you think that walking is exercise
 
- you think I'm lazy and entitled

- you think everyone without grey hair is lazy and entitled

- Get a job you bum! (wait...what?)

- you ski in jeans (yeahhhhh you do)

- you believe lead paint "puts hair on your chest"

- you believe asbestos "puts hair on your chest"

- you use the term, "puts hair on your chest"
 
- you update your facebook status with your daily routine (you fed your cat HOW much?!?)
 
- twitter is scary
 
- Instagram is scarier
 
- retiring from your job is scariest (clearly)
 
- "dancing", to you, means pointing your fingers and twisting your hips
 
- you're annoyed that you had to enhance the font when reading this one (un-pinch your fingers)



@BrendanRolfe
 
 

Friday, January 22, 2016

The art of looking great naked


Unless you are the treasurer for some hippy nudist colony, a serial-streaker, or a skinny-dipping aficionado, there are only two people in the world that are going to see you naked: you, and the person you trust in the moment to see you naked.

Chances are, if someone is willing to birthday suit-up with you, one of two things has already occurred: 1) They have already sized you up and like what they see 2) They care about you and really aren't focused on your Instagram-appeal.

So then we are left with YOU. Psychologically speaking, happy people don't necessarily like everything about their bodies. In fact, I would argue that almost every single person has at least 2 things they would like to change about themselves. BUT, truly happy people are at peace with what they see when they go full-length and free-bird. So "looking great naked" really comes down to how you see yourself and how happy you are. If you find you are not happy with your reflection, you can't look yourself in the belly-button, and that your 'uglies' are actually ...ugly. Then make a change.

The beauty of being human is that we are not slaves to our instincts and urges and that we have free will. And while some people's will is a few carbon molecules short of iron (#chemjoke), I truly believe that everyone has the ability to change themselves for the better, and for the healthier. To follow are 5 SIMPLE things you can do so that the next time you sachet on by a mirror, au naturale, you check out your own ass (and maybe even give it a slap).

DRINK MORE WATER - I know, I know, EVERYONE and their mother says this, but that's because it really is a game-changer. Dehydration has been identified as a major culprit in maladies such as headaches, muscle-cramping, cholesterol, and strokes.

Here's your strategy: Drink a glass of water as soon as you wakeup, drink a glass of water with every meal and every snack, drink a glass of water right before you go to bed. If you can make it warm water, so much the better for your digestion.

PUT PEPPER ON ALL OF YOUR FOOD - Do you suffer from stress and hypertension (high blood pressure)? Scientific studies show that simply adding black pepper to each meal can lower your blood pressure.

Couple the addition of pepper with consciously and purposefully lowering (or eliminating) the addition of salt to your food, and you will experience a significant decrease in your systolic and diastolic numbers. Add a little exercise to the mix and you just added 10 years to your life! Your call though...

EAT HIGH COCOA DARK CHOCOLATE - Is your "sweet tooth" actually a mouthful of sweet teeth? If you had to choose between cutting out the sweets and cutting off your pinky finger, would you consider life as Franky Four-Fingers? Dark chocolate (lights out dark) could be the answer: 1) The amount of antioxidants a square of 90% cocoa contains can reduce your risk of cardiovascular disease and stroke by 77% 2) You are extremely unlikely to binge on dark chocolate and it has been shown to help buck the habit.

If there is a certain time of the day that you usually binge, substitute your milk chocolate with a 90%'er. You still get the chocolicious after-taste, but the bitterness will have you putting the bar down for other options.

TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR LIFE - If reading this heading made you upset or had you instantly rolling your eyes, then you do NOT take responsibility for the current state of affairs in your life. Playing a victim, in life, is dangerous. Not only do you feel that bad things 'happen to you', but you are far less likely to take credit for good things that 'happen to you' as well. Studies show that those who do not feel in control of their life are more likely to suffer from issues like stress, anxiety, depressive tendencies, and general pessimism. No matter who you are or what your position, you have the ability to make your own life better.

Life Coaches frequently employ the use of the "Wheel of Life". The wheel of life divides your life in to 8 areas. In each area, you will rate your level of satisfaction. After rating each area, go through each one individually and write down the reasons why you are dissatisfied and satisfied with that area. Once you have identified the positives and negatives in each category, write down one way in which you can improve each (there is always room for improvement). Complete this wheel each month for the first 6 months, and then every other month for the next 6. Finally, you can graduate to doing it in each quarter of the year, and then twice per year. It is common for happy, successful people to continue this practice at the beginning of every year.

PRACTICE POSITIVITY - So much of our lives are filled with can'ts, won'ts, and didn'ts. And most of that comes from ourselves. Practicing positivity is actually much harder than it sounds, and you may need to fake it and lie to yourself at first, but eventually, like the sucker you are, you will begin to believe your own lies and propaganda. Positive self-talk is a proven method that you don't even have to believe in for it to work (kind of like Valentines Day).

Try this simple first step: Record your own voice on your phone saying, "Today is going to be a great day" (make sure you are smiling - even faking a smile - as you record this. Believe it or not, you can tell by someone's voice if they are smiling or not smiling when they speak). Set this as your alarm (on loop) so that you wake up to it every day. The last thing you do before you go to bed should be to look in the mirror (fake a) smile, and say "I am strong, I am smart, and I am happy." I know that it sounds hokey, but there is a scientific basis showing that this crap works.

Before you know it, the 2 year old you that used to peel down and run around naked will show up. You'll be sleeping naked, eating naked, and yes, looking at your self in the mirror naked...and you won't even need to fake your smile.

@BrendanRolfe


Image Credits: http://images.smh.com.au/2013/07/17/4578714/th-streaker1.jpg 


Monday, January 18, 2016

Five things 13 year old me needed to hear


We all wish we had do-overs in life...at least one. I don't care if your life-motto is 'no regrets', there is always that one circumstance in which you wish you had a mulligan. Well, tough luck. You don't get one. But if I could go back and deliver a message to myself, that 13 year old me might actually listen to, it would surround these five wisdoms that I have learned in my time on this earth.

1. "Clothes make the man." - I had a wonderful childhood. I grew up on a multi-acred property, played in the mud, and my weekends were filled with all of the sports I could squeeze in. However, we didn't have a lot of money, and often when it came time to buying clothes, Value Village was our go-to. When I was younger, it didn't bother me, but as I entered highschool, brand names became a must-have, and instead of just getting clothes that fit right and looked good, I would opt for on-sale brand names that were a size or two too big.

Wear clothes that fit. The label and price doen't matter, but wearing clothes that fit you right make you feel like a million bucks. The better you feel, the more confident you are; confidence is magnetic.

2. "Respect is earned not given." - Don't get me wrong. I was not a bully. I would never instigate in making fun of someone else and was conscious of how my actions made others feel. HOWEVER, there are instances I can recall where I wish I had the courage to step in to defend someone else when I knew something wrong was happening.

The reality is, respect should be assumed until it's lost. Be kind to everyone, always. And when others are not kind, be brave and confident enough to do what you know is right.

3. "Never be afraid to laugh at yourself, after all, you could be missing out on the joke of the century." - Growing up can be an awkward, difficult, and sometimes painful experience; learn to laugh at yourself and it will be a lot easier. This is a message my father taught me early on, and while I practiced this outwardly, inwardly it proved more of a challenge. Understanding the insecurity of all those around you, accepting that you are not alone and not different, and appreciating that it's not personal, is, in my humble opinion, the key to life.

The ability to laugh at yourself, and even poke fun at yourself (without self-deprecation) is a higher-level social skill that many never develop. It is a sign of self-confidence and is a tremendous ice-breaker in new social situations. Be quick to laugh and slow to anger.

4. "The only thing to fear is fear itself." - I was not a fearful child (although I distinctly remember freaking out any time my dad would pick me up and turn me upside down). I was constantly part of groups, was always involved in sports, I had plenty of friends and was very social. The same was true in highshool. BUT, for some reason I started to become extremely anxious in social situations, and was unreasonably uncomfortable being in the spotlight. Looking back, I never had any reason to be so. From what I remember, I was friendly with everybody, wasn't bullied, and I didn't have a tail growing out of my forehead. Perhaps it was an immaturity that didn't have me prepared to take that step from childhood to pre-adulthood (I finally figured it out in college).

First of all relax. Do things. Put yourself out there. You only get one chance to live each part of your life. I'm not saying try LSD when you're 13 years old. But I am saying, don't let the fear of the unknown or potential for embarrassment stop you from doing things.

5. "Music is the soundtrack of our lives." - I showed an early propensity for musical aptitude. I could sit down at a piano and pick out my favourite songs by ear and memory (The Entertainer by Scott Joplin was my jam when I was 10). Hearing this, my mom put me in piano lessons (I hated them). I only did them for as long as I had to, and then I quit. I would later pick up the saxophone in highschool band (again, because it was part of curriculum) and then quit that too, when I was no longer being graded. Thanks to the interests of my college roommates, I picked up the guitar. I don't suck too bad at it now (7 years later), but music definitely doesn't come as naturally as it once did.

Sing, guitar, piano, whatever. Not only is it a party favourite, it is an international language and a wonderful stress-release. There is something primal about music that touches everyone. Being able to create such universal understanding and happiness is a gift that you will value later on... hell, that's how you are going to win-over your future wife.

Oh yeah, and one more thing: life may not play out exactly as you envisioned it, but in a lot of ways it's going to be so much better. Hang in there.

@BrendanRolfe



Image Credit: http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--sd4eXnVX--/17ob05sf53lg0jpg.jpg

Thursday, January 14, 2016

3 easy exercises you aren't doing for a great bum & enhanced athletic performance


That's right, I said BUM...Gluteal muscles...to the professional population.

The problem with your bum is that while it has potential to be a powerhouse muscle, it is lazy. Like, Homer Simpson lazy, NO, like lounging in a beach hammock while sipping a Mai Tai in Mexico, lazy. Anyways, you get the picture.

If you are thrusting, squatting, squeezing, pulsing and pumping (?), and your rear isn't growing more round and more robust, it's probably because you aren't activating it properly. Poor activation, or "muscle recruitment" is usually the result of a combination of 3 things: 1) a tightness 2) a weakness 3) a lack of neuromuscular connectivity.

 Completing 10 repetitions of these 3 exercises before your daily workout will guarantee firmer junk in your trunk and more badonk in your dunk:


A LACK OF NEUROMUSCULAR CONNECTIVITY
Glute Activation
     Activations
 
A TIGHTNESS
Range of Motion

     Step-throughs


A WEAKNESS
Hip Stability
     Curtsy lunge




@BrendanRolfe


Image Credit: http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2015/07/06/19/2A47FBA800000578-3151221-Husband_and_wife_Surfer_Laird_Hamilton_and_his_wife_volleyball_p-a-29_1436208676491.jpg